When chaos, uncertainty, fear, big feelings, pain and immense change are whirling around you beckoning your nervous system towards activation and survival, what tools do you use to stay present and grounded? How do you intentionally participate with as well as constantly adapt to what shows up? 

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I have been thinking a lot about imagery for these times and a tornado keeps coming up in my conversations with the question “how do you stay in the eye of a tornado?”

In full confession, I was initially imagining a tornado to be like a hurricane. The eye of a hurricane is the calmest part of the storm, the center surrounded by an eyewall -  a clear boundary between the calm and the most dangerous impact of the storm. I discovered the eyes of tornados are a bit different and more difficult to discern. For tornadoes, there are believed to be multiple “sub-verticles” - the equivalent of mini tornados within a larger tornado that surround a center that is more calm, causing the eyewall of a tornado to be more complex and the calm of the center to be more difficult to pinpoint consistently. In this discovery, I realized  that a tornado is exactly what life feels like right now. I don’t know many people who are not living in a tornado right now - the subverticles are global, national, local, relational and personal. 

When facing “sub-verticals” focus becomes adaptability - your ability to participate with what presents, moving from activation to equilibrium again. We are activated if we are reacting/defending/resisting (fight), avoiding (flight), hiding (freeze) or pretending/pleasing (fawn).  Once we know we are activated, we can have more agency on how to care for our own nervous system and the nervous systems around us. 

Because there are very different tools for different levels of nervous system activation, we have to acknowledge where we are to know what tools to use or if we need to build new tools. 

This week I felt like a shaken coke can. Anger and frustration building. I was proud of myself for using boxing to move it through me effectively. And, reaching out for support. I had thought I had handled it well and my nervous system was adapting.  

Two elders in my life - older than my own parents - metaphorically mom’ed and dad’ed me. I have learned to always listen when they share wisdom, but I noticed I was acting like a teenager, like I had it all handled on my own. I watched them both cut right through to truth and show where my nervous system was still activated and I was avoiding/resisting. 

A man I deeply respect told me, I had to pause boxing because my hand needed time to heal. I inadvertently looked away as I nodded. He called out my casual dismissal. Looked me straight in the eyes and made me confront what I was avoiding.  I didn’t want to use another tool other than boxing to manage my building anger, even if it cost me some pain. I needed him to disrupt my avoidance because I wasn’t listening to the disruption my hand pain was causing. If I kept avoiding, a larger correction would inevitably come for me in an injury or something even bigger to make me listen. 

A woman I deeply respect, told me I needed more support. I resisted. Readying my argument with all the ways I support myself and receive support. I prepared a list, instead of listening. And, I began to share all the ways the people around me were struggling, as a subconscious way to ensure her I was doing okay. She disrupted my defenses with, “yes and you need even more support, because of the state of the world around you and everyone you are supporting.”  I had no argument, it was just true. In fact, this was an argument I had used with clients earlier that day. I signed up for more support and set aside some time to build a strategy to build even more support for myself in April.

I am trying to live in the eye of a tornado. And like everyone, sometimes I am good at it and other times I am lost in the winds. I have been working with my own nervous system activation, studying nervous system activation and supporting others’ with their nervous system activation for over 20 years. AND RIGHT NOW, at this time, things are pressing in on me and everyone I know. It is taking all of my tools, and I have a lot, just to exist. And, I still need to build up even more support. 

We need each other and we all need a variety of support. We can’t do this alone. As a result, I am starting more group coaching offerings next month.

In my opinion, group work is the most essential and effective support out there; I have done my greatest healing and witnessed the greatest healing in groups.

If you are curious, resistant or know you want to join, reach out for more information. Connect 

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OFFERINGS

Connect with me for Coaching: I offer Family System Coaching Packages for 7, 14 and 21 sessions. I offer individuals an introductory 5 session package and 4 sessions a month for a minimum of 6 months. My business and non-profit consulting is customized to the needs of the organization. My intention is to help you build structures of not just care for yourself but to build structures that support exquisite (higher volume) care for yourself, your family, your business and your communities in challenging times of uncertainty, big divisions and fear. For a 20 minute free consultation: Connect

ADDITIONAL GROUPS AND OFFERINGS:

Family Coaching Groups

Drop-in Group: Parenting with Support - Wednesdays at 12pm PST. Join any Wednesday, just reach out for zoom link!  

My dream is to disrupt the isolation in parenting and prioritize thriving family nervous systems, transforming generations through support and intentional community.  This group invites parents into a container of support to have the opportunity to parent together. All with the vision that more webs of communities and connections will grow from there.  Please reach out if you are interested in joining the parenting group and please share the opportunity with parent’s who you think might be interested!

Social Entrepreneur Networking Group - Mondays at 8am PT, join any Monday.

Join a growing community of entrepreneurs from underrepresented or underestimated communities who are dedicated to giving back to their communities. We meet monthly to network, collaborate and dream up the world we want to co-create. Connect

Finding Hope in Times of Despair Writing Group : Moving Beyond Survival towards Nervous System Agility…Together building a new world for ourselves and the next generations Fridays at 8am PT, Join any Friday, just reach out for zoom link!  

Join a writing group that focuses on curiosity with prompts, sharing and community support around how we can all better support our nervous systems through inevitable change to build the world we want for ourselves and the generations to come. The group’s intention is to find hope in despair as well as agency in knowing when to stretch to take risks, and when to slow down and nurture - better caring for ourselves, others and the world. Connect

Climbing Coaching

Add indoor or outdoor climbing to your coaching package to embody your or your child’s shifts in a new way. Reach out if you are interested!

Check out updated website. Add climbing to your coaching. www.katwhippleclimbing.com

If you are CURIOUS about my offerings…connect with me for a 20 minute chat.