KAT'S NEWSLETTER

October

Kat Whipple
October 06, 2023

So happy you are here…

This has been an intense couple of weeks for many of us, and if you have been in the clear, I imagine you are still watching people you love struggle. Much of my community and many of my coaching clients are facing big challenges. It’s as if we are all walking on lily pads or watching those we love walk on lily pads - all while still teetering in a place of discovery around what needs to be done or what needs to “be” different to create change. It’s uncomfortable. Even though the next step is not visible, yet, I know we will get to the other side.

What we aren’t changing, we are choosing. Asking new questions opens new doors, creating new neuro-pathways….

Being curious and humble...Let’s talk about boundaries.

What scares you about creating boundaries? What meaning do you give the act of setting boundaries? Are you consistent? Do you followthrough on holding them? When are they firm, when are they not?

What NEW boundaries do you need? What NEW place do you need to focus your attention? What NEW choice will unbind stuckness and give you the fuel for change?

Some of the most loving people I know, struggle the most with setting boundaries for themselves and with others because it’s uncomfortable or boundaries feel something like punishment, disconnection or just generally not okay to have. How can boundaries be an act of love?

…part of setting boundaries…is also asking for help.

Let’s create a container for change. We need to receive more, so we can give more generously without a cost. We need to stop parenting alone. We need to create businesses that give back to our communities. We need to hold each other accountable to changing what does not work for any of us.

I am offering small group coaching, 4-8 members by invite only. The intention is to build more community around each of us. Groups will be intentionally chosen to best serve the individuals of each group and the group as a whole. If you are interested, in joining a group to grow community and accountability around your changing self, please reach out. Reach out

LATEST FROM MY BLOG…

Have you ever felt like you have tried everything and needed help because you just couldn't see the next move…

In December of 2022, I was sitting in a rehabilitation center in LA… for my dog. The owner Brandon Fouche called it a rehabilitation center because he wanted to teach you to understand your dogs needs versus teaching them tricks using trainings or drugs to create the illusion you have them under control. Or as he put it, “lie to your dog”. Brandon turned to me and said, “I learned everything I know from observation.” It made me pause. This is exactly how I learned everything I know. Like him, some of the science and big words I learned through education to talk about intergenerational trauma and brain development were second to or at the most reinforced by what I learned through observation. In truth, I viscerally learned the most from curiously observing my own trauma as well as the trauma of other people, children, family members and even pets that came into my life. Curiosity allows me to not only observe, but to participate in new ways. I instantly trusted him.

I trusted him because of his truth speaking. When I called for the consultation he told me “You are “band-aiding” the problem and not fixing anything with your dog on meds.” I tried to defend myself at first, but ultimately I agreed with him. I got off the phone. And cried. And then signed up. He had truth bombed me. It stung, and I made a choice to face the truth. It was not lost on me that I am usually the one holding this role, telling people truths they don’t want to hear, aren’t ready to hear but need to hear.

In our initial in-person evaluation, he gently (and not so gently) told me that I was my dog’s problem. She was fear-aggressive from puppyhood trauma and he explained that some of my dog’s issues were because of how her brain was wired from painful experiences in her past and her genetics. He also told me, “how she chooses to use them is up to you”. I got it - this meant I had to change my behavior to get new results. I had to laugh at myself, this was exactly what I was encouraging a parent to do with their child on a call earlier that morning. I knew, if we could “be” different it had a bigger and more sustainable impact on shifting habits, patterns and behaviors in all of our relationships, but I didn’t yet know how. I couldn’t see how I was encouraging or participating with her behavior. I had a blindspot.(More about blindspots here)

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He called me a “helicopter parent”. I was hovering, reacting, protecting, anticipating - what she really needed was for me was for me to stand in my personal authority and be accountable to her with boundaries - to show her what she could and could not do, and consistently hold the boundaries that kept her and others safe, without giving her the opportunity to show up the way I wish she could, because she consistently showed she couldn’t. (Full BLOG here)

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(This man changed our lives with a new perspective, new boundaries and a magazine. And my dog taught me how to return to myself, stand in my personal authority, be accountable, “be” better for both of us, set boundaries and honor the wild in her, and in doing so, honor the wild in me. And, in my change, I finally had the relationship with my dog I always wanted.)

OFFERINGS

Free Workshop: Setting Boundaries as Acts of Love - improve your relationships with your family, your partners, your community, your work and yourself.

Learn to use boundaries to create more space and time for what you want - time with your kids, connection with a partner, time for you or even more resource.

This group is perfect for you if you are a giver and prioritize supporting others.

What if you set boundaries as acts of love for yourself? How would it change your relationships? What scares you about setting boundaries? What do you say no to? What do you say yes to? How do you know how to choose?

You will leave this group with new ways to set boundaries in your life that will improve your relationships, work life and quality of life.

Join me for a Free workshop and group coaching on Sunday 10/22 from 10-11 PST.

Reach out to sign up and get the ZOOM link.

Climbing + Coaching (for Adults and Children)

I offer Climbing Coaching because…Climbing taught me to care for myself when I was wired to care for everyone else. Climbing also taught me so many things about facing my fears, facing death, recovery, rebirth and living life fully. It has been my constant teacher, when I have been with or in between teachers, therapists or coaches. It has shown me how to navigate trauma, harmonize my active nervous system, feel my emotions, set boundaries, care for myself better, create, share generously and find my joy.

Add climbing to your monthly coaching or coaching packages This is open to kids and adults!.

Sign up for a Climbing day or a weekend in Indian Creek, Utah. Or indoor climbing opportunities in Denver/Boulder, CO and the Bay Area.

BUSINESS CORNER

More Boundaries, means More Money, which means you can give More generously.

Boundaries are some of the main reasons many new businesses struggle, and why established businesses stop growing.

Change makers, and members of historically excluded groups, for example LGBTQAI, POC, and Womxn, have been systematically excluded from building wealth. Only 7% of women entrepreneurs make over $100,000 in the US (and these businesses are more likely to invest back into the community.)

Let’s change this, starting with your boundaries. Reach out for coaching or to join a small coaching group.

FAMILY CORNER

Boundaries with ourselves and children is a way we can love everyone better. No matter the age of your child. Do you take connected Time on and clear Time off with your kids? How do you nurture yourself and your relationship with your partner? Are you asking for help?

Let’s rebel against the impossible standards of parenthood and set boundaries of love. What can you commit to do as something new?

Stop parenting alone. Improve your connection with your children and partner, and build community around parenting.

Reach out for coaching or to join a small coaching group.